theLaconic

BV Another Manhattan weekend with Al Green

If you look down the page you will notice that Barney was in town, now the last time he visited he managed to write a witty story for this blog, and this time was no different. Now it's kind of late - he only sent it to me this weekend but it is very amusing.

Another Manhattan weekend with Al Green
(Does that sound like a show or what?).

AG: Look, if you’re out in Manha’an, you’ve got to pull some pork…
BV: Mate, I’m not sure I’m really into that.
AG: I know this great place, just wait ‘til you get the meat in your mouth. You won’t be able to resist.
BV: …you’ve really changed.
AG: Get in the cab before I slap you, bitch… you’re coming with me. This is what living in NY is all about!

It was with some relief when we pulled up at the We Never Close Rib Shack in East Village…
‘Good evening Mr Green’ the maitre d’ cooed as we entered, ‘and you’re just in time for happy hour: all you can eat and we surgically implant a second stomach when you’re all full up, we call it the “colostomy doggy bag”…’

OK it wasn’t quite like that but when you go out for dinner with Alastair you eat well. Tip: when the waitress at the Japanese BBQ says “can I get you anything else” tape his mouth shut…no more beef, no more scallops and certainly no more sake…
Where would you naturally go after a big dinner; somewhere for a quiet digestive; a super-club to dance it off; a stroll down Broadway to walk it off; or even to bed to sleep it off..?
…Or the only bar that gives you complimentary pizza with every drinks order?
…Guess where we went?

Honestly, it’s a New York thing… You don’t ever get less than four courses on one plate when you order an entrée. While dozing in Central Park, like one of those giant snakes half asleep while it digests its last meal, I calculated that in Manhattan alone people push enough meat to the side of their plates every evening, that you could supply Pork Farms with enough proper meat to substitute all the eyebrows, snouts, and testicles that go in their pies for a year with it*.

For all of you back home who haven’t seen the man in a while… Alastair is well and as wonderful to spend time with as ever.

BV

*Note: I don’t actually know how many testicles Pork Farms put in the pies, or indeed if pigs have eyebrows, but I imagine there’s a fair amount stuff in their pies that’s made up of bits you’d normally only find people contemplating putting in their mouths on quite specialist websites.

Strange days off

One of the nice things about moving abroad is the unexpected day off. I never thought about it when I was back in the UK but you always know when a bank holiday is coming up and your get to know the annual calendar. You know when you are going to get a three day weekend and plan for it. I'm still getting used to the holidays here - for example I know that Thanksgiving is coming up at the end of November (24th and 25th).

Today is Columbus day and I get a day off of work, but here's the rub not everyone company is closed. Neil and Nigel are at work because their companies don't recognize the holiday.