theLaconic

One Year is not enough

So one year has passed in the blink of an eye and I am still here in New York City. Still loving every moment, still hating every stupid form and queue that the American bureaucratic machine points towards me.

So what have I learnt and what would I like to forget? A good question or is that two?

I have learnt that I still call the UK my home and that the relationships with my family and friends are the most valuable possessions I have.

I have learnt to love America and what she stands for. Now before you turn you head in disgust I am not talking about anything to do with the present badly perceived aggressive talking about the America that was once loved and admired by the rest of the world. The America that allowed anyone to be equal, in short I love the opportunity that living in New York affords me.

I have learnt to expect better service from anyone who is expecting a tip or owns their own business and expect none from anyone who works for the American government (and our security guards at work).

I have learnt that New York never sleeps because it is always eating.

To never and try and finish all the food on my plate. Yes the portions are huge. Yes the food is delicious. Yes I would like to eat everything. But no I’ll just get fat(ter).

That American beer is actually is pretty good, as long as you stay away from the large domestic brews (Budweiser, Coors, Miller etc.).

I have learnt that I can keep writing this blog, something I thought I might only manage for one or two months. This is a pretty big surprise to me.

That if my career in advertising doesn’t pan out that I will always have a job as a tour guide. So far I have ‘guided’ all of these visitors: Neil, JamesF & Levina, Nigel, Fraser & Julita, Richard, Jill, Jon & Lena, Hannah & Mark, my Mother & my auntie Viv, Karen & Chris, Barney & JamesF, Jon & Lena (again).

So that is what I have learnt but what do I want to forget?

Nothing, honestly nothing apart from the stupid forms the uneven pavements and pot holed roads.

I still feel really lucky that I have had the chance to live and work in another country.

Photos discovered, thanks flickr

Neil, Gerrita & Swuz at Yankee stadium.

I have discovered some photos from the past 2 weeks. Which include three sets of visitors: Chris & Karen, Swuz & Gerritea and Jon & Lena. These are all from Neil's camera and posted because he now has a pro account.

This is down to the power of flickr and the fact that I had been given some two gift accounts because I had signed up to their Beta service. So I gave one of my spare accounts to Neil. Go and have a look and leave rude/funny comments and notes. Yay flickr.

Click here to see Neil's photos

So what happened last weekend?

It went so quickly that I didn't manage to sit down and type anything out, luckily for me and you, dear reader that Mr Jon Olivier was visiting with his lovely fiance, Lena. And even though it is slightly late I now present the third guest post on www.thelaconic.com.

Kill Dave

You know, from time to time, the whole ridiculous nature of working for a living permeates through the daily grind and you feel the need to get away from the frickin idiots you are forced to work with. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people you see in T-shirts that say ‘Does not play well with others’. My T-shirt would say ‘Does not play well with incompetent amateurs’. So you get the idea: in need of a break.

So I get to thinking: what would be the ideal antidote? I phone Al. A weekend in New York. So Lena and I leave for New York the very next weekend, both of us looking forward to being starstruck in New York. And, thanks to Lastminute.com, we jet off with both of us secretly hoping for a chance meeting with a star like Johnny Depp. Yes. That would be the ideal antidote to a prolonged hectic patch at work – meeting Johnny Depp. So I carefully pack a heavy iron bar into the bottom of my luggage and head for Heathrow, looking forward to a chance meeting with JD…

Johnny Depp. That’s not his real name, you know. His real name is Dave Stevens. Despite the fact that Dave was born as a genetic female, and raised by a family of Ecuadorean circus freaks, did you know he was an eighth Red Indian? Nobody knows which eighth, but a recent article in The Gay Times seemed to be claiming some insider information. Very compact race, apparently, the Red Indians...

It was while we were passing through airport security that they found the iron bar and relieved me of it. And now Lena was on to me. The truth was manipulated out of me, and Lena explained that Good Ole JD (Dave Stevens) actually lives in France. (That shouldn’t surprise me) It all seemed so logical when I thought about it, after all he writes a column for the France-based magazine, EuroBoy, called Johnny Depp’s (Throbbing) Column. So feeling a tad deflated, I worried that our trip would be in vain. But then I perked up: a weekend at Al’s is never wasted…

We met Al at his swanky Midtown offices at lunchtime: he said he’d meet us at his apartment after work and gave me a spare set of keys to his apartment. He apologised that the place might be in a bit of a mess, and lamely tried to blame it on Chris and Karen, who had been staying the week before. We indulged ourselves with an awesome afternoon snack at the excellent top lunch spot ‘VYNL’, near to Al’s work.

Al lives in the part of town called ‘East Village’, an area brimming with creative types, restaurants,etc. Al likes it here as he fits in well with the rest of the ‘Village People’. In fact, apart from a cab ride to tribeca for some good ole Southern cooking (Chicken Fried Chicken followed by Apple Whiskey Pie with Pecan), we ate food from around the world without leaving East Village. New York is awesome for food. You would have thought that, with the seemingly over supply of restaurants, there would be a lot of dodgy places. In fact, the opposite seems true: increasing numbers of restaurants raises the bar.

The other excellent pastime for which New York is renowned is shopping, and that was what occupied our Saturday – well, after taking all morning to enjoy a brunch fit for kings!! New York is one of theose places you could walk around for days. Obviously, it’s better in short bursts, punctuated by coffee shops and and great little bars. Today’s meander stretched from SoHo to Little Italy to China Town.

By Sunday, a profound feeling of relaxation begins to take hold. Sleep, booze and food, rounded off with an afternoon of early Summer sun with all the nutters in Central Park really does the trick. We head back to Al’s, and off to an awesome Sushi bar called Ginger, just a stone’s throw from the apartment, to grab one last taste of New York’s eclectic cuisine before heading for JFK.

So as I type this on the morning commuter train into work, my grumpy attitude begins to return. I remember that the seats are approximately ¾ average human size (slightly larger than Johnny Depp, I understand) and that everyone looks over your shoulder to see what your are typing BECAUSE THEY’RE NOSEY BASTARDS. (That’s sorted that one). And I think back to the excellent weekend at Al’s, and begin to plan a return visit…

Al talks to a random stranger, enjoying a cigarette on a New York Sidewalk.

New Orleans - edit

So I need to explain what these photos are.

I would like to say it's a long story, but it is not really that long.

Simon and I cooked up this weird narrative based website for a creative conference that my company was holding in New Orleans last week. And it seems that our big boss who is joint co-creative head of the agency liked it enough to invite us along to the conference.

Story ends there. Not much of I story I hear you say but it was an awful lot of fun.

We flew out of New York on Monday afternoon and we were scheduled to arrive in New Orleans at approx. 5.30pm local time and that's where it started to get fun. With the incoming flight delayed we eventually left almost 2 hours later than we should of (thank you US Airways) and that allowed a tropical thunderstorm to sweep through the region and park itself on New Orleans international airport's runway.

Now I have been on quite a few planes but this was the first time that I have ever had the pleasure of flying sort of sideways while alternatively dipping either wings as we came into land. As you could probably guess we were quite relived to be in New Orleans, even if it meant we were late by three hours. The phrase 'better late than never' seems strangely apt.

the city of the dead.

This brings me to my first photo. The first nights activity (after a few beers of course) was a tour of the city's graveyards which are famous for being above ground, if you bury underground the super high water table un-digs them pretty quickly. Just being in a such a vast graveyard should of freaked me out but that pleasure was left to the mainly large cockroaches and beetles that seemed to be crawling all over the tombs - not pleasant.

We stayed in the swanky Ritz Carlton, just of the historic French Quarter and most of the the day time consisted off hotel meeting rooms which doesn't make for interesting reading so I won't bother telling you about it.

On the Wednesday we had all walked down to preservation hall to talk about the importance to music in advertising. After the talk we were treated to a musical history of New Orleans which included 4 acts performing in this tiny room. In all honesty I can't really believe I was being paid to do this, sometimes my job really seems like the best job in the world.

preservation hall jazz band

mardis gras gang flags

The final day was some more meetings and a trip to the bayou (a kind of swamp) to search for some 'gators'. This involved a trip on an air boat which was quite a laugh, I am all out of word for now so I'll let the photos do the talking:

damn it was hot.

air boats are cool.

a fearless Australian - a windswept Australian

this isn't a zoo - these 'gators are wild.

aha - a 5ft 'gator

I should really write some more about New Orleans but it's best if you visit it for yourself because it is truly an amazing place that I can't wait until I go back.

Pasty and white no more

It was spring this weekend. Karen and chris were here (and still are) so I was showing them around New York and my body has had an allergic reaction to the sun.

I now look like a pink zorro - I was wearing sunglasses. I can't elaborate too much as I my plane leaves for New Orleans pretty soon.

Some more Whistler shots

Neil's photos: click to view.

MIA

So just what have I been doing over the last couple of weeks since I have returned from Whistler?

Working my nuts off is the answer. But all this hard work has had it's reward, let me explain.

Simon (my copywriter) and I have been producing a weird website for an company conference in New Orleans for some serious bigwigs. These bigwigs seemed to be impressed enough to invite us along which is quite a big deal. So the in about 8 days I go to New Orleans, Louisiana to eat, drink and smooze with our bosses. It's a hard life.

I have also been preparing my U.S. tax return, a task which is almost as confusing as applying for a work visa. But it is almost done, well I've done my bit and it is up to my tax advisor to fill in the blanks. Let's see what happens, hopefully I am in for a fat rebate (which I have already mentally spent).

Karen and Chris arrive on Friday night, New York is their last stop on their around the world adventure before they fly back home to blighty. When I saw them in Whistler they said they were planning a shopping marathon and wanted to experience some New York nightlife, so next weekedn promises to be fun.